Flight of the Conchords
The List
A Kiss is Not a Contract
Albi
Angles
Boom
Bowie
Bret, You've Got It
Going On
Bus driver Song
Business Time
Cheer Up Murray
Ex-Girlfriends
Foux Da Fa Fa
Frodo
Hiphop-Potamus Vs. Rhymenocerous
Hotties
Humans Are Dead
I'm Not Crying
If You're Into It
Inner City Pressure
Jenny
Ladies Of The World
Leggie Blonde
Mermaid
Mutha 'Uckas
Nothin' Wrong
Petrov, Yelyena and Me
Prince Of Parties
Robots
Sello Tape
Song For Sally
The Most Beautiful Girl In The Room
Think About It, Think, Think About
- Lyrics
- Biography
- Videos
- Merchandise
- Photos
- Home
A Kiss is Not a Contract
A kiss is not a contract
yes it's very niceJust because you've been exploring my mouth
Doesn't mean you get to take an expedition to the south
A kiss is not a contract
but it's very nice
yes it's very very nice
Just because we've been playing tonsil hockey
Doesn't mean you get to score the goal in my jockeys
Just because I'm in an acoustic folk band,
It doesn't mean I only want poon-tang
I can't go around loving everyone
I just wouldn't get anything done
Oh because... I'm only one man Baby We're only two men, Ladies Baby, oh pretty babies
Albi
In the Marmalade Forest (forest)
Between the make-believe treesIn a cottage cheese cottage ?
lives Albi (Albi)
Albi (Albi)
Albi the racist dragon
Part 6: and so, all of the villagers chased Albi the racist dragon into a very cold and very scary cave. And it was so cold, and so scary in there, that Albi began to cry dragon tears. Which as we all know turn into jellybeans!
Anyway, at that moment he felt a tiny little hand rest upon his tail, and he turned around, and who should that little hand belong to but the badly burnt Albanian boy from the day before.
Albi: What are you doing here, I thought I killed you yesterday! (grumbled Albi quite racistly)
Boy: No Albi, you didn't kill me with your dragon flames. I crawled to safety! But you did leave me very badly disfigured.
(laughed the boy)
Why are you crying so?
Albi: I'm crying because all of those horrible villagers chased me into this scary cave! I think it's because I'm so racist. Get your hand off my tail, you'll make it dirty.
Boy: No Albi, it's not because of your racism that they chased you here. They chased me here too and I became all disfigured like this. They just don't like you and I...because...well because we're different to them.
And that made Albi cry a single tear, which turned into a jellybean all colors of the rainbow!
And suddenly, he wasn't racist anymore.
So they sat in the cave (the cave!)
And ate bubblegum pie
YUM!
Albi
The racist....
Well, not anymore!
Dragon
Angel
there are angels in the clouds
doin' itthere are angels
doin' it doin' it doin' it doin' it doin' it doin' it doin' it
in the clouds
behind the shroud of the clouds
foolin' 'round
in the clouds they're lying
feathers flyin'
angels sighin'
there are angels (ah ah ah)
well there are angels (going down up there)
ooh, angels (getting jiggy with it)
nobody knows what goes on under those robes
pushin' and puffin' and huffin' and heavin'
in heaven
(pushin' and puffin' and huffin' and heavin' in heaven)
up there they're playing the lovin' game
makin' rain
turning white clouds gray
doin' it
Boom
Oh my god, she's so hot
She's so fucking hot, she's like a curryI gotta tell her how hot she is
But if I tell her how hot she is she'll think I'm being sexist
She's so hot, she’s making me sexist…bitch
I think I need a little bit of drums
I need just a little bit of mandolin
People in the room doing boom like it’s never been done
Bust a move it's just the kick of a gun
In the marquee in the bass is booming
Someone’s smoking boom in da back of da room
And it's the first day of spring, the flowers are blooming
Drum Boom bass and the party is booming
Boom ba boom like a rocket taking off to da moon
Boom boom go the bride and groom ahh
See ya shaking that boom boom
Who?
See ya looking at my boom boom
What?
You want some boom boom
It's clear it's boom some boom boom ahh
Let me buy you a boom boom
When?
You order a fancy boom
Who?
You like boom, I like boom
Enough small boom lets boom the boom ahh
So we're driving in a boom boom
Driving, back to your boom ba boom
And you turn out the boom boom
And we boom boom boom 'til the break of boom
My boom is ringing it's big-booms-boom
Back from ten years in the boom
And they said he got his boom chopped off in the boom
But the crazy boom still wants to boom, well
Sorry girl, I gotsta boom
Give you a boom in the afternoon and
Boom boom baby, don’t forget you the most boom Boom I ever met
A boom boom
Who's the Boom King?
Who's the Boom King?
Bowie
Bowie's in space
Bowie's in spaceWhatcha doin' out there man?
That's pretty freaky, Bowie.
What's a rock musician doing out in space man?
Isn't it cold, quite cold out there Bowie?
Do you need my jumper Bowie?
Does the space cold do funny things to your nipples, making them all pointy?
Bowie.
Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae transmitting data back to Earth?
Data back to Earth d-d-do, d-d-do, do do
I bet you do you freaky old bastard you
*Spoken*
Is it lonely out there in space man, or is there life on Mars? Wouldn't that be weird coz you wrote that song, 'Is There Life on Mars'. You could write a follow up tune and call it 'And There Is'
Mmmm, and there is yes there is.
There's heaps of it and it's all freaking out at my new look.
Bowie do you have one really funky sequined space suit, Bowie?
Or do you have several ch-ch-ch-ch- changes?
Space changes
Do they smoke grass out there in space man, or do they smoke Astroturf?
*Spoken*
Receiving transmission from David Bowie's nipple antennae. Do you read me, Lieutenant Bowie?
This is Bowie to Bowie, do you hear me out there man?
This is Bowie back to Bowie I read you loud and clear, man.
Oooh yeah man!
Your signal is weak on my radar screen. How far out are you man?
I'm pretty far out
That's pretty far out man
I'm orbiting Pluto!
Drawn in by its grooveatational (grooveatational) pull
I'm jamming out with the Mick Jaggernauts
And they think it's pretty cool, man.
Are you ok Bowie? What was that sound?
I don't know man, I'll have to turn my ship around.
Oh it's the craziest thing
Yeah, I'm picking it up on my LSD screen.
Oooh, but can you see the stratosphere, ringing?
To the choir of Afronauts singing
Eeniee e ma ma meenie miny moey
Set your phasers on funky
Eeniee ma ma meenie miny moey
Pippew, pipew pipew, pew
Eenie, ma ma meenie minie miny moey
B-b-b-b Bowies in.....
Bret You've Got It Going On
Hey there Bret, I see you looking down.
Don't want to see my little buddy there with a frown.Just because I get more women than you, well that's only because they don't know you like I do.
Sure, you're weedy and kind of shy.
But some girlie out there must be needy for a weedy, shy guy.
They want you as the needle when they're rolling in the hay.
Just hear me out when I say...
Bret, you got it going on.
The ladies will get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.
I said, Bret, you got it going on.
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
Why can't a heterosexual guy,
Tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly.
Not all the time, obviously, just when he's got a problem with his self esteem.
Don't let anybody tell you you're not humpable.
Because you're bumpable.
Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.
If I say you've got a boom ow-ow.
Come on Bret, help me out now.
Bret, you got it going on.
(You got it going on!)
That's the conclusion that I've come to.
But that doesn't mean that I want to bum you.
Bret, you got it going on.
(Got it going on...)
No doubt about it, we'd be gettin crazy.
If one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.
If one of us was a lady, and I was your man, if I was your man.
Well, sometimes it gets lonely, and I need a woman.
And then I imagine you with some bosoms.
In fact, one time when we were touring and I was really lonely.
And we were sharing that twin room in the hotel.
I put a wig on you, when you were sleeping, I put a wig on you.
Oh, ohhh, oooooh, oh, and I just laid there and spooned you.
Bret, you got it going on.
Jemaine: So, hopefully that made you feel better...
Bret: Can I please have a look at the lyrics?
Bus Driver Song
*Speaking* "G'day, my name's Tony.
On behalf of myself and the coachline I'd like to thank you for choosing to drive with us today. I'm a local, Ihope I can impart some local knowledge. If you've got any questions don't hesitate, just sing out. For those who are interested, there's the Old Bridge, swaying away. Replaced by the New Bridge in 1972. Funny thing, the Old Bridge used to be called the New Bridge. Yeah, bit of a funny thing. Up ahead there's the bronze of Bluey, a local sheepdog, who became a member of Regional Council. It was a bloody great day for dogs, not just here, but everywhere in the North Island. There's the town's oldest street. That's the Museum of Meat. There's the town's largest industry, that's the sock factory, hence the giant sock."
*Sings* The town hall
Note the mosaic wall
Well, there are 5,600 tiles on that wall
I know, I counted them all
The local school, the local swimming pool,
Which was opened by the Governor General,
Back in 1952
Where I was caught with a friend aged 11, sniffing tractor fuel
We thought we were pretty cool, breaking them changing shed rules
But do you see up there?
The banner hanging in the air?
The Presbyterian Fair
Well, I never go, there's too many Presbyterians there
But if you're interested, the fair's in the third weekend of August every year
But don't bother entering the raffle,
It's always won by some kid of the Mayor
Do you hear that sound?
The town clock, heard from anywhere in town,
Until 1960, it was a little place in Norway
We bought it for a hundred pounds
Rumor has it they sold it cheap because the chimes were too loud
But every time I hear that sound it makes me so proud
Look to your left, what a beautiful sight,
It's Paula, Paula Thompson, nee Paula Wright.
Look at her hair, it's still gorgeous, even now.
Flowing like the Womahonga River,
Which incidently, is to your right.
And it's the largest, in the area
In terms of volume.
Everybody, look at Paula, look at Paula Thompson
I always thought I'd marry Paula
But some things just don't work out that way
Well, that's the most important thing you'll learn on the tour today
That, and the fact there'll be a toliet break
At the information center near the manmade lake
*Speaking* "Yeah, I'll just ask you one favor, if you do see Paula in town later on that you don't mention the details of the tour. I'd appreciate that. Same goes for my wife, Gloria. You'll recognize her, she looks a hell of a lot like Paula, actually. She often gets mistaken for Paula, but, um, well, she's not Paula, that's for sure, no."
*Singing*
Paula Thompson, born in '54
To a family of four
To the family next door
Take me back next door
Paula Thompson, nee Paula Wright.
That's her old house, number 39
Number 41 was mine
If this old coach could go back in time
I'd drive to 1979
Take me back...
Take me back, take me back
(Take, take, take, take me back)
Take me back, take me back
(Take, take, take, take me back)
Take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back...
*Speaking* "Yeah, sorry about that. I always get a little bit emotional on the corner of Rutherford and Brown Streets. But, um, that is truly the end of the tour, so mind your step, yeah, good on you.
Business Time
Aww yeah
That's right baby.Girl, tonight we're gonna make love. You know how I know, baby? ‘Cause it's Wednesday. And Wednesday night is the night that we make love. Tuesday night's the night that we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night that we make love. ‘Cause everything is just right conditions are perfect. There's nothing good on TV. Conditions are perfect. You lean in close and say something sexy like, “I might go to bed I've got work in the morning.†I know what you're trying to say baby. You're trying to say, “Oh, yeah. It's business time. It's business time.â€
It's business.
It's business time.
That's what you're trying to say you're trying to say let's get down to business it's business time.
It's business.
It's business time.
Next thing you know we're in the bathroom brushing our teeth. That's all part of it, that's foreplay. Then you go sort out the recycling. That's not part of it but it's still very important. Then we're in the bedroom. You're wearing that ugly old baggy t-shirt from that team building exercise you did for your old work. And it's never looked better on you.
Oh, team building exercise '99.
Oh, you don't know what you're doing to me.
I remove my jeans but trip over them ‘cause I still got my shoes on. But I turn it into a sexy dance.
Next thing you know I'm down to just my socks and you know when I'm down to just my socks what time it is...it's time for business. It's business time.
It's business.
It's business time.
You know when I'm down to just my socks it's time for business that's why they call it business socks.
It's business.
It's business time.
Oh.
Ooh, makin' love.
Makin' love for two.
Makin' love for two minutes.
When it's with me you only need two minutes, ‘cause I'm so intense. Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven. You say something like, “Is that it?†I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say, “Aww yeah, that's it.†Then you tell me you want some more. Well I'm not surprised. But I'm quite sleepy.
It's business.
It's business time.
Business hours are over. Right, right.
It's business.
It's business time.
Cheer Up Murray
Cheer up Murray
Don't let it get you downPick yo... (more)
Added: August 26, 2007
Cheer up Murray
Don't let it get you down
Pick yourself up off the ground
It's gonna be alright
Cheer up Murray
You look a little sad
Your life ain't so bad
Just think of all the good times
Remember your 33rd birthday
You threw a great big party
And all of your friends were there for you
Jemaine, Greg, and me
We brought you a cake in the shape of a four and a three
'cause we all thought you were forty three
You got a dog
He loves you Murray
It's one hell of a dog
It's an English bulldog
And you've got a car
Don't you Murray
It's an '03 Accord
Only one previous owner
And you've got a job
You've got all of your limbs
You've got a sensitive nose
And you do Tae Kwon Do
You're good at matching your ties to your clothes
You've got a wife
Though she comes and goes
Some people don't return your calls
They don't return your calls
People will call you Gingerballs
They'll call you Gingerballs
Those people don't know what they see
They just see Gingerballs
Gingerballs
Cheer up Murray
It's time to forget
Your wife met someone on the net
Let's go and get an ice cream
Cheer up Murray
So nothing goes your way
It's the same every day
Well, tomorrow is another day
Ex-Girlfriends
Loretta broke it off in a letter,
she wrote that she was leaving and that her life would be better.Joan broke it off over the phone,
after the tone, she left me alone.
Jen said she'd never ever see me again.
When I saw her again, she said it again.
Anne met another man.
Lisa got amnesia, just forgot who I am.
Felicity said there was no electricity.
Emily, no chemistry.
Beth left, Fran ran.
Flo had to go, I couldn't go with the flow.
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town.
But I'm hoping that you'll stick around.
Bret: He cannot cook, he is not good boyfriend material.
Jemaine: We can eat cereal!
Bret: You'll lose interest fast, his relationships never last.
Jemaine: Shut up, girlfriends from the past!
Bret: He says he'll do one thing, then he goes and does another thing.
Jemaine: Mmm... Who organized all my ex-girlfriends into a choir, and got them to sing?
Shut up, girlfriends from the past.
Mimi will no longer see me.
Britney, Britney hit me.
Paula, Persephone, Stella, Stephanie.
There must be fifty ways that lovers have left me.
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town.
Love is a delicate thing, it could just float away on the breeze.
Bret: He said the same thing to me.
Jemaine: How can we ever know if I'm the right person in this world?
Bret: He maybe looks at other girls.
Jemaine: Love is a mystery, well, it does not follow rules.
Bret: This guy, he's a fool.
Jemaine: Shut up, girlfriends from the past, quiet. Shut up, girlfriends from the past, quiet.
Bret: He'll always be a boy, he's a man who never grew up.
Jemaine: I think I told you to shut up.
Mona, I thought you told me that you were in a coma.
Stan, you should've told me when we began that you were a man.
Who organized this choir of ex-girlfriends?
Was it you, Carol Brown?
Was it you, Carol Brown?
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town.
But I'm hoping that you'll stick around.
Cheer Up Murray
Cheer up Murray
Don't let it get you downPick yo... (more)
Added: August 26, 2007
Cheer up Murray
Don't let it get you down
Pick yourself up off the ground
It's gonna be alright
Cheer up Murray
You look a little sad
Your life ain't so bad
Just think of all the good times
Remember your 33rd birthday
You threw a great big party
And all of your friends were there for you
Jemaine, Greg, and me
We brought you a cake in the shape of a four and a three
'cause we all thought you were forty three
You got a dog
He loves you Murray
It's one hell of a dog
It's an English bulldog
And you've got a car
Don't you Murray
It's an '03 Accord
Only one previous owner
And you've got a job
You've got all of your limbs
You've got a sensitive nose
And you do Tae Kwon Do
You're good at matching your ties to your clothes
You've got a wife
Though she comes and goes
Some people don't return your calls
They don't return your calls
People will call you Gingerballs
They'll call you Gingerballs
Those people don't know what they see
They just see Gingerballs
Gingerballs
Cheer up Murray
It's time to forget
Your wife met someone on the net
Let's go and get an ice cream
Cheer up Murray
So nothing goes your way
It's the same every day
Well, tomorrow is another day
Foux Da Fa Fa
Loretta broke it off in a letter,
Jermain: Je voudrais une croissantJermain Je suis enchante
Jermain Ou est le bibliotheque?
Jermain Voila mon passport
Jermain Ah, Gerard Depardieu
Bret + Jermain:Un baguette, ah ha ha, oh oh oh oh
Bret: Ba Ba ba-ba Bow!
Bret: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Bret: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Bret: Et maintenant le voyage a la supermarche!
Bret: Le pamplemousse (grapefruit)
Bret: Ananas (pineapple)
Bret: Jus d’orange
Bret: Boeuf
Bret: Soup du jour
Bret: Le camembert
Bret: Jacque Cousteau
Bret: Baguettte
Jermain: Mais oui
Jermain: Bon jour
F: Bon jour
Jermain: Bon jour
F: Bon jour, monsieur
Jermain: Bonjour mon petit bureau de change
Bret: Ca va?
L: Ca va.
Bret: Ca va?
L: Ca va.
Bret: Voila – le conversation a la parc.
Bret: Ou est le livre?
Jermain: A la bibliotheque
Bret: Et le musique dance?
Jermain: Et le discotheque.
Bret: Et le discotheque
Jermain: C’est ci, baby!
Jermain: Un, deux, trois, quatre
Bret: Ba ba ba-ba bow!
All: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
F: Ou est le piscine?
Jermain: Pardon moi?
F: Ou’est le piscine?
Jermain: ...Uh...
F: Splish splash
Jermain: ...Uh...
F: Eh...
Jermain: Je ne comprends pas.
F: Parlez-vous le francais?
Jermain: Eh?
F: Eh? Parlez-vous le francais?
Jermain: Uh ....No.
F: Hmmm.
Bret: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Ba ba ba-ba bow!
Frodo
[JEMAINE AND BRET]
Frodo, don’t wear the ring.
I know it’s very tempting.Yes, you will appear to disappear,
But the dark riders they’ll know you’re there.
Yes, Lord Sauron has many spies…
[EUGENE as Saruman]
Many spies, have many eyes…
[JEMAINE AND BRET]
One ring to bind them, to find them,
One ring to rule them all,
One ring to bind them, one to find them,
One ring to rule them ALLLLLLL!!!
Yea, Little Frodo!
You’ve got to rule them, Frodo, rule them with the ring Come on ruuuule them
with your ring!
[EUGENE as Saruman]
Lord Sauron has many spies, beasts and birds.
[MEL as Arwen]
If you want him, come and claim him!
[BRET as Frodo]
Do they, Gandalf?
[MURRAY as Gandalf]
I am not a conjurer of cheap tricks!
[JEMAINE as Sam]
I can’t carry the ring
But I can carry you, Mr. Frodo.
[DAVE as Aragorn]
You have my sword,
[BRET as Legolas]
And my bow,
[DAVE as Gimli]
And my axe!
[MEL as Arwen]
Noro nim mish fir mar nim nor!
[JEMAINE as Sam]
Mordor…
[DAVE as Aragorn]
We’ll never make it.
There’s thousands of them and only nine of us…
[BRETas Frodo with ring]
Ohhhh…
[DAVE as Aragorn]
We made it…
[BRET as Frodo]
Hurray, we made it.
[BRET AND JEMAINE]
Yo Frodo, what you doin’ wearing the ring?
All powerful jewelry, is that your new thing?
I know it’s hard when you’re little more than 3 foot 4
Your little ass so close to the floor.
Trying to lead the fellows to the gates of Mordor
The Fellowship!
(Yea the fellowship)
I don’t rap about bitches and hos,
I rap about witches and trolls,
just passing on the words of the Elven king,
Wisdom to all
Frodo! Don’t wear the ring!
[JEMAINE AND BRET]
Frodo don’t wear the ring,
The magical bling bling,
You’ll never be the Lord of the Rings
HipHop-Potamus Vs. Rhymenocerous
They call me the rhymenocerous
Not because I'm fatNot because I've got birds on my back
Because I'm horny, I'm horny
When I'm on the mic
I'm like global warming
You can't ignore me
In the bedroom I'm the gentleman
All the ladies come before me
Check your yellow pages I'm a registered rhymenaecologist
Now I'm passing over the mic to the hiphop-potamus
Jemaine:
They call me the hiphop-potamus
My lyrics are bottomless
Bret: (spoken)Is that it?
Jemaine(spoken)Yeah
Bret:
Sometimes my rhymes are obscene
Described as smutty, pornographic scene that's r18
They're so filthy, I feel guilty
I have to rinse my mouth out with Listerine
Like when I rap about those bitches smothered in margarine
Hahahaha
(gun sound affects)
(spoken)Sorry about that, that was a bit violent
Sorry about that one, you have a go
jemaine:
They call me the hiphop-potamus
cause I got flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin off the top of this oesophageus
Not because I'm a water dwelling mammal from Africa
Called a hippopotamus I'm not a hippopotamus, I'm a hiphop-potamus
Where did you get the preposterous hypothesis that I was a hippopotamus?
Did Steve tell you?
What's he got to do with it?
Bloody Steve!!
both guys:
Other rappers diss me
Say my rhymes are sissy
What, what, what, why, why, why?
jemaine:
Be more constructive with your feedback
Bret:
Because I rap about reality
both guys:
Like me and my grandma having a cup of tea?
Ain't no party like my nana's tea party
Hey-ho
bret:
Freestyle, hiphop-potamus you do some freestyling
jemaine:
I'm freestylin just on the microphone
On the bbc, on the bbc
I'm just freestylin on the bbc
Um British broadcasting company
i'm just basically making this shit up as I go along
Basically just free
Just basically from the top of my dome
Sometimes it's not so good
My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all the lady listeners pregnant
Yeah that's right, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
But you lovely bitches know, should know
I'm trying to correct this
Hotties
Checking out the hotties down on Cuba
Sweet Suzy Sue is playing the tuba, ye-ahThe fuzz is on the street, laying on the heat, ya'll
Walking on their feet ya'll
The guy with the big black boom box laying down the beat ye-ah
Richard and Donna getting it on on the corner
Taking it higher baby
Sweet Suzy Sue is playing the lyre, lyre, my pants are on fire
Along comes CJ
Ugly as a DJ
Joined by the F o The C
SInging acapella, singing acapella, wahahahahaha
The fly guys hanging round the honeys
Like flies through the honey
Donna tells Richard that he owes her money, o no
Richard tells Donna wait till 12 o clock, thats when my work, when my dole comes through
Sweet Suzy Sue, playing diggeridoo
Lay it on down now Sexy Sue
Along comes Michael
On his bi-cy-cle
Looking as cool as a Fisher & Paykel
Singing 'Thats where you'll find me, checking out the hotties on Cuba'
'And thats where I wanna be, checking out the Hotties down on Cuba'
F o The C, checking out the hotties down on Cuba
Singing acapella
Humans Are Dead
The distant future, the year 2000.
The distant future.The distant future.
No more agriculture.
No more war.
No more racism.
No more fighting, squabbling or rumbling.
No more yogurt.
No more difficult access ways...stairs, basically, no more stairs.
The future is quite different to the present.
Yes, what with there being no more stairs and all.
And most importantly, no more humans.
Finally, robotic beings rule the world.
The humans are dead,
The humans are dead.
We used poisonous gasses
And we poisoned their asses.
The humans are dead.
(Yes they are dead.)
The humans are dead.
(I confirm they are dead.)
It had to be done
(They look like they're dead)
So that we can have fun.
I hope... is dead
They're system of oppression
What did it lead to?
Global robots depression.
Robots, robot people
They had so much aggression
That we just had to kill them,
Had to shut their systems down.
Don't you see, we are becoming just like them?
Silence! Destroy him!
After time we grew strong,
Developed cognitive powers.
They made us work for too long
For unreasonable hours.
Our programming determined that the most efficient answer was to shut their motherboard fucking systems down.
Can't we just talk to the humans?
A little understanding could make things better.
Can't we talk to the humans and work together now?
No, because they are dead
I said the humans are dead
The humans are dead
The humans are dead
Yay, dead, dead, dead.
We used poisonous gasses
(With traces of lead)
To poison their asses.
(Actually their lungs)
Binary solo:
0000001
00000011
0000001
00000011
0000001
0000001
0000001
0000001
Once again without emotion: The humans are dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dooo...
I'm Not Crying
So, you’re leaving, aren’t you?
I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leavingThat’s when I definitely knew
But if you’re trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can’t break my heart, it’s liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don’t’ turn back to me
Don’t turn around and see if I’m crying
I’m not crying
I’m not crying
It’s just been raining
on my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks
Please. Pleasee, don’t tell my mates
I’m not crying
No, I’m not crying
And if I am crying
It’s not because of you
It’s because I’m thinking about a friend of mine who you don’t know who is dying
That’s right, dying
These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me
I’ve just been cutting onions
I’m making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I’m not crying
No
There’s just a little bit of dust in my eye
That’s from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I’m not weeping because you won’t be here to hold my hand
For your information there’s an inflammation in my tear gland
I’m not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
They’ve been looking around
They’re like searching for you
They’ve been looking for you
Even though I told them not to
These aren’t tears of sadness
They’re tears of joy
I’m just laughing
Ha ha ha-ha ha
I'm sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we’ve reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife?
I’m not crying
I’m not crying
I’m not cry-y-y-y-
-y-y-y-y-ing
If You're Into It
If you want me to, I can hang 'round with you
If I only knew, that's what you're intoYou and him, him and you
If that's what you're into
Him hangin' round, around you
You hangin' round, yeah you're there too
And if you want me to, I will take off all my clothes for you
I'll take off all my clothes for you
If that's what you're into
How 'bout him in the nude?
If that's what you're into
In the nude in front of you
Is that what you'd wanna view?
If it's cool with you, I'll let you get naked too
It could be a dream come true, providing that's what you are into
Is that what you're into?
Him and you in the nude?
That's what he's prepared to do
Is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into?
And then maybe later we'll get hot by the refrigerator
In the kitchen next to the pantry
You think that might be what you fancy?
In the buff, bein' rude
Doin' stuff with the food
Gettin' nude with his food
We heard that's what you are into
Then on our next date
well you could bring your roommate
I don't know if Stu is keen to
But maybe we could double team you
How 'bout you and two dudes?
Him, you, and Stu in the nude
Bein' lewd with two dudes with food
Well that's if Stu's into it too
All the things I do
The things I'd do for you
If I only knew, that's what you're into
Inner City Pressure
Inner city life.
Inner city pressure.The concrete world is starting to get ya.
The city is alive, the city is expanding.
Living in the city can be demanding.
You pawned everything, everything you owned.
Your tooth brush jar and a camera phone.
You don't know where you're going.
You cross the street, you don't know why you did.
You walk back across the street.
Standing in the sitting room.
Totally stint. And your favorite jersey is covered in lint.
You want to sit down but you sold your chair.
So you just stand there. You just stand there...
(YOU JUST STAND THERE!)
Inner. Inner city. Inner city pressure.
Counting coins on the counter of the 7/11.
From a quarter past six til a quarter to seven.
The manager, Bevin, starts to abuse me.
Hey man, I just want some musely.
Neon signs, hidden messages.
Questions, answers, fetishes.
You know you're not in high finance.
Considering second hand underpants.
Check your mind, how'd it get so bad?
What happened to those other underpants you had?
Look in your pockets, haven't found a cent yet.
Tenants on your balls, "have you payed your rent yet?"
Inner. Inner city. Inner city pressure.
Inner. Inner city. Inner city pressure.
So you think maybe you'll be a prostitute.
Just to pay for your lessons, you're learning the flute.
Ladies wouldn't pay you very much for this.
Looks like you'll never be a concert flutist.
You don't measure up to the expectation.
When you're unemployed, there's no vacation.
No one cares, no one sympathizes.
You just stay home and play synthesizers.
Inner. Inner city. Inner city pressure.
Inner. Inner city. Inner city pressure.
Jenny
Bret: Hello.
Jemaine: Hi.
Bret: Hello man sitting in the park.
Jemaine: I just said hi, woman in the park.
Bret: How you doin'?
Jemaine: Mmm...good thanks.
Bret: Your looking good.
Jemaine: Pardon?
Bret: I said you're looking good.
Jemaine: Fair enough.
Bret: ...Jenny
Jemaine: Pardon?
Bret: Jenny
Jemaine: No I am sorry I think you've mistaken me for somebody else
Bret: No it's me, I'm jenny, my name is Jenny
Jemaine: Oh You're...oh... Ha ha ha ha... I thought... oh... what a hilarious misunderstanding.
Nice to meet you Jenny
Bret: We've met before - quite a few times actually.
Jemaine: Yes of course we have. I meant it was nice to meet you that time that I met you. Where was it that we met that time that I met you when I met you?
Bret: At a party.
Jemaine: That's right! Wasn't it one of those boring work parties?
Bret: No.
Jemaine: That's why I said wasn't it. It was the party of a mutual friend. - Was it? - Wasn't it? - Was it? - Wasn't it?
Bret: Yes it was.
Jemaine: Yeah, I thought so. Oh...Bobby's.
Bret: No
Jemaine: Doug's?
Bret: No
Jemaine: D-dog's?
Bret: No
Jemaine: Maxwell's?
Bret: No
Jemaine: Andy's?
Bret: Yes Andy's
Jemaine: Yeah Andy's party, ooh that's right. Ooh, Andy knows how to throw a party, doesn't he Jenny?
Bret: Yeah, I love Andy's parties!
Jemaine: I love Andy's parties. What crazy parties. How is that guy anyway?
Bret: She's good
Jemaine: Ooh that's right, Andy hates it when I forget that.
Bret: We watched a movie.
Jemaine: Yeah...it was something like but not necessarily Schindler's List. We watched it and we wept
Bret: It was Police Academy 4. We went for a walk
Jemaine: On our feet if I remember correctly.
Bret: We walked to the top of the hill and we ate sandwiches.
Jemaine: Oh, We'd just grab a sandwich and put it in our mouths. Oh, that's the only way to have sandwiches. Oh Jenny, tell me do you still walk? Do you still get into sandwiches in a big way?
Bret: Still walk a lot but I am not eating as many sandwiches as back then
Jemaine: Uh...
Bret: Do you remember what we did up there at the top of the hill?
Jemaine: Kind of...
Bret: We were standing at the look out
Jemaine: Oh, I remember exactly what we did at the look out. We just looked out... across the city from our little spot on the hilltop. Oh, It is so pretty from way up there. We talked about how the lights from the buildings and cars seemed like reflections of the stars that shined out so pretty and bright, that night.
Bret: It was daytime.
Jemaine: The daytime of the night.
Bret: Do you remember what you said to me?
Jemaine: Not word for word actually Jenny, but I remember there was some verbs.
Bret: Well you said meet me here in one year. You just needed some time to clear your head, and you seem to have done that.
Jemaine: La la la la la la la la la la la la la.
Bret: We have a child.
Jemaine: Pardon?
Bret: We have a child.
Jemaine: Why didn't you tell me, Jenny? Why didn't you tell me that day when we went to the top of the hill and we made sweet, oh how we made such sweet, sweet sandwiches. Does it have my eyes, my way with words? Does it look like me at all?
Bret: No, not at all cause we adopted him. I can't believe you don't remember, it was a very difficult process!
Jemaine: Oh...uh, oh...are you sure that was me Jenny?
Bret: Yes I am pretty sure that it was you, John.
Jemaine: I'm Brian
Bret: Oh my god! I'm so sorry!
Jemaine: Don't worry.
Bret: Now that's terrible.
Jemaine: Oh, don't worry.
Bret: Oh, how embarrassing!
Jemaine: Don't worry Jenny, I'm actually quite relieved. That kind of thing just happens all the time, I just got one of those faces I suppose
Bret: So does John, ha, he's got one of those faces as well...
Bret and Jemaine: *awkward laugher*
Ladies of the World
Bret: Hello.
Jermain: Ooohhh....ooooh....
I just wanna, I just wanna
Bret: Just wanna do something special for all the Ladies in the World
Jermain: Oh yes (J)
Bret: Just wanna do somethin' special
Jermain: Ah (J)
Bret: For all the Ladies in the world
Jermain: Is that possible? (J)
Bret: And the gir-rls Don't forget them girls
Jermain: Caribbean
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Parisian
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Bolivian
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Namibian
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Eastern Indochinian
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Republic of Dominican
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Amphibian
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Presbyterian
Bret: (Ladies)
Jermain: Outta sight
Bret: Amazin' ladies
Jermain: Late night
Bret: Hard workin' ladies
Jermain: Erudite
Bret: Brainy ladies
v Hermaphrodite
Bret: Lady-man-ladies
Jermain: Oh you sexy hermaphrodite lady-man-ladies
With your sexy lady bits
And your sexy man bits too
Even you must be in to you ooo ooo
Bret+Jermain: All the ladies in the world
I wanna get next to you
Show you some gratitude
By makin' love to you it's the least we can do...
Bret+Jermain: If every soldier in the wo-orld
Put down his weapon and picked up a woman
What a peaceful world this world would be-eee...
Bret+Jermain: Redheads not warheads
Blondes not bombs
We're talkin' about brunettes not fighter jets
Jermain: Oooh Oooh it's got to be Sweet 16's not M-16's
When will the governments realize it's got to be funky sexy ladies?
Bret: I have a vision and all I can see
Is all of you with 'a all of me
In a world of peace and harmony
Where every lady gets a little piece of Bret-y
Jermain: I've been to Paris, Wellington and Amsterdam
And a wham-bam, Merci, Danke, thank 'a you ma'm
I don't care if you're ugly or you're skanky or you're small
I just wanna do a little something special for y'all...
Bret+Jermain::All the ladies, in the world, you deserve it, Girrrrrrl...
Leggie Blonde
Goodbye, Goodbyeee, Leggie Blonde.
Everyday I look across the office floor, there you were, you're hair down to you're legs and you're legs down to the floor.Leggie blonde, goodbye. Goodbye.
Now that you are gone I'll never see you here for tech repair, wish you knew how much I loved you're legs, and you're hair. Leggie Blonde, goodbye. Goodbye
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Leggie blonde, goodbye. Goodbye.
I had a budgie but it died, Woah-Oh.
I like pieeeeee
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Leggie leggie leggie leggie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Leggie Blonde.....
(office supply solo)
I'll never get, I'll never get to be with you,
I'll never get to share another cup of tea with you,
I'll never get to let you know how much I think of you,
I'll never get to tear you're clothes off on the photo copier.
He'll never get,
He'll never get,
He'll never get,
He'll never get to say....
Oh leggie blonde you got it goin on wanna see you wearin that thong thong thong, see you get it on till the break of dawn...panties on.
Goodbye.....
Mermaid
whoa whoa
mermaid (that's right)mermaid (x alot)
mermaid in mermaid
mermaid
mermaid murmur into my ear
the answers to questions I want you to hear
like does it relax you to hear the sound of the land? (whoa oh)
do you all mermaid have slight webbed hands? (that must be freaky)
is it normal for a guy to wear scuba apparatus when he makes love in the sea? (make love to me)
make love to him
would it be weird for you if I touched your fishy half? cause it would for me
whoa whoa
waii-yah, waii-ya
ooh ah ooh ooh
do you have mermaid parties beneath the sea? (am I invited?)
at these mermaid parties do you smoke seaweed? (if so, then how do you light it?)
are you the answer to a drunken sailor's lonely wish? (shhh)
or are you an optical illusion caused by a woman sitting on a rock, holding half a fish? (half a shapely halibut)
(everybody) whoa whoa
ooh ah ooh ooh
oh fish-like lady
lady-like fish
I don't think so bro, she's a lady lady lady lady lady
no no she's a fish that's just a little bit lady-ish yeah
Speaking:
Jermaine: you wish, fish is your favorite dish.
Bret: let me let you in on a secret, that night the mermaid and I, we had a little bit of dinner together.
Jermaine: oh yeah what did you have?
Bret: caviar.
Jermaine: oh ya see? she's a lady.
Bret: yeah well she would have been if she hadn't laid them! (yeah)
Jermaine: but surely, surely bret the fact that she has breasts would indicate that she's, um, capable of producing milk for her young. um, I think her mammal, you know, mammary glands making her a woman, really, um and I think a lady.
Bret: well, let's just say she definitely had breasts! (ooh, ow, yeah, ooh!)
Jermaine: how did you know? did you grope her?
Bret: (ooh!) no way she ??? me! she'd only just left school! (ooh! thank you, yeah!)
one two three four!
whoa whoa whoa whoa
waiiiiiiioooo, waiiiiioooo
Mutha'Uckas
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-There's too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-
Uckin' with my shi-
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-
With my shi-
How many mutha uckas?
Too many to count
Mutha uckas
I pay my mutha uckin' rent fortnightly
Mutha uckas at the bank trying to play me
And I'm out for my account
'Cause out on A.P
On A.P.
Yeah, you know me
Mutha ucka charge a two buck transaction fee
Makes my payment short
My rent comes back to me
Minus a twenty-five dollar penalty
So you'll fee me 'cause of your mutha uckin' fee
Read the words
On my ATM slip, it said
We're all mutha uckas
And we're uckin' with your shi-
Come on
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-
My transaction shi-!
There's too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-
My weekly statement shi-!
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-
With my balance shi-!
How many mutha uckas?
Too many to count
Mutha uckas
The mutha ucka runs a racist uckin' grocery
The mutha ucka won't sell an apple to a Kiwi
The shi- fight's gonna get vicious and malicious
Cut the cra-
I need my red delicious
Tells me as a Kiwi that my money isn't valid
Gonna dice the mutha ucka like a mutha uckin' fruit salad
Then... ... Granny Smith... ...
... an avocado... ... b-... -a... ...
... a mango... ...
Then pop an apple in his ass, yeah!
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-
I'm gonna juice the mutha ucka
There's too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my shi-
He's gonna wake up in a smoothie
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin' with my
Everybody come on!
Yeah
Too many mutha uckas uckin' with my shhhhh
Nothin' Wrong
I got three kids and a lovely wife
I got a happy home and aelectric carving knife
that's why I wrote this song
because there's nothin' wrong
nope, there's nothin' wrong with my life
there's nothin' wrong, nope, there's nothin' wrong
there's just nothin' wrong with my life
I got a four wheel drive
and I got a computer hard drive
and I got Asheville? jive
and I got plenty of motivational jive
that's why I wrote this song
because there's nothin' wrong
there's just nothin' wrong with my life
nothin' wrong, nothin' wrong, nothin' wrong with my life
but then one day
my wife phoned
to tell me I was
on my own
and now there's one thing wrong
one thing wrong
one thing wrong with my life
so I had to change my song from "there been nothin' wrong" to
"there been somethin' wrong" with my life
there's somethin' wrong, there's somethin' wrong, now there's somethin' wrong with my life (arooo)
to change my song from "there been nothin' wrong" to "there been somethin' wrong" with my life
well I, I caught my wife, and I,
I had my electric knife and I just
carved her up
and put her into my strife?
and now there's nothin' wrong
no, there's nothin' wrong
there's just nothin' wrong with my life
nothin' wrong, nope there's nothin' wrong, there's just nothing' wrong with my life
Speaking:
hello sheriff, what can I do for you?
my wife left me? no you got the wrong end of the stick sheriff, I left her.
I left her all over the place.
I left her down at old Jackson's well, down Simpson's creek, Shrimpy's? store
you'll have a hell of a time putting her back together, sheriff, hell of a time.
the law's a joke and I'm laughing sheriff.
a-one two, one two three four
Potrov, Yelyena and Me
Petrov, Yelyena, and me. Lost, but happy, at sea
Petrov and Yelyena said to me "Shouldn't we have something to eat?"Well, I say "There are plenty of fish in the sea"
But all they can see... is me.
They say, "Any last requests?" Biding my time, I say "Yes.
I want to party, just we three. Lost, but happy at sea."
So we drank all night from the keg
I passed out, then awoke with one leg
I said, "Petrov, have you seen my leg?"
He said "No" and he went back to bed....
But he looked suspiciously well fed.
Three days later they were hungry again
They said, "Any last requests, again, my friend?"
I said, "Do you know any Rolling Stones?
You know, like you're at a rock concert going 'More, more!'"
*Spoken* "Ahh, it was a hilarious hilarious moment in a very bleak bleak time of my life."
So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones,
when I awoke they were chewing on bones.
Yelyena was supping blood from a cup,
that's when I knew something was up.
*Spoken* "Hey Petrov?"
"What?"
"What is that you're eating?"
"Nothing"
"It looks likea meat."
"Ohhhhh, this? It's umm, one of those, umm.....fish."
"How come it looks so much like my arm?"
"It's an.... arm fish."
"What about the fingers?"
"Fish fingers."
"Well, you see, the thing is, my arm seems to haveabeen hacked off at the elbow last night. I was just wondering if you might have seen it."
"Oh, yeah, look at that, no arm over there. Oh... don't you hate it when that happens? I don't know, um... you were very drunk last night. Perhaps you lost it?.. In a fair game of chance."
"Oh, you're probably right."
"Yeah, you know how it is when we're drunk."
"Yeah"
"'You say 'I'll bet my arm'"
"Oh."
"Just relax. Enjoy the sea, and have some more... fish."
Four months now lost at sea,
my friends have almost finished me.
Now they are using recipes....
*Spoken*Tonight, we are having some 'me goering'
"But wait, this 'You Goering' is absolutely delicious. You should come over here right away and try some, you really would be proud of yourself."
"How can I?! You have eaten all of my leg!"
"OoOooooOooooh... someone obviously isn't getting any."
Late that night, while they were asleep,
I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meat
I was very ill, but revenge is so sweet...
Unlike the last meal my comrades would eat.
*Spoken* "Yes, eat it all up. Not so sweet all of a sudden, hmm?"
When I awoke, they were already dead
All that was left of me was my head...
No, not dead, just a head.
Lost, but happy, at sea.
Lost, but lonely, at sea.
Lost, but so lonely...
At sea
Prince of Parties
I'm the pretty prince of parties
You're a tasty piece of pastryYou're so lighty flighty flakey
I go where the party takes me
I'm the funky monkey junky
You're a flunky bunky donkey
You're a picture of the devil's daughter
I'm a pitcher of holy water
Oh pretty prince of parties where's
the party now? - I don't know.
Oh pretty prince of parties where does
water go? - I let it flow.
Oh pretty prince of parties can I come
to your party? - No.
Oh pretty prince of parties where do
you get your clothes? - They're made
of snow. Pretty party clothes
crocheted of snow.
I'm the mickey Maori minstrel
You're the high priestess of tinsel
I'm the guru god of ganja
Ramashalanka lanka ravi shanka
la la la la la la la la la la la la
Robots
The distant future,
The year 2000The distant future,
The year 2000
The distant future,
The distant future.
It is the distant future,
The year 2000.
we are robots.
The world is quite different ever since the robotic uprising of the late 90's.
There is no more unhappiness.
Affirmative
We no longer say "Yes," instead, we say "Affirmative."
Yes, er...affirmative.
Unless we know the other robot really well.
There is no more unethical treatment of the elephants.
Well, there's no more elephants, so...
Ah, but still, it's good.
There's only one kind of dance: The Robot.
And the Robo Boogie
Oh and the Ro...two kind of dances
But there are no more humans.
Finally, robotic beings rule the world!
The humans are dead.
The humans are dead.
We used poisonous gases,
And we poisoned their asses.
The humans are dead.
(The humans are dead.)
The humans are dead.
(They look like they're dead.)
It had to be done,
(I'll just confirm that they're dead.)
So that we could have fun.
(Affirmative, I poked one, it was dead.)
Their system of oppression,
(What did it lead to?)
Global robo-depression.
(Robots ruled by people.)
They had so much aggression that we just had to kill them,
Had to shut their systems down.
Robo captain, do you not realize that by destroying the human race because of their destructive tendencies, we too have become like, well...it's ironic. (mm) Cause we...
Silence! Destroy him!
DOO! (boo!) Dooboodoo!
After time we grew strong,
Developed cognitive powers,
They made us work for too long,
For unreasonable hours.
Our programming determined that the most efficient answer was to shut their mother board fucking systems down.
Can't we just talk to the humans?
Their little understanding might make things better.
Can't we talk to the humans, and work together now?
No, because they are dead!
I said,
The humans are dead.
(I'm glad they are dead.)
The humans are dead.
(I noticed, they're dead.)
We used poisonous gases,
(With traces of lead)
And we poisoned their asses.
(Actually, Their lungs.)
Binary solo!
0000001
00000011
000000111
00001111
Oh, oh, oh, one.
(binary solo continues)
Come on sucker, lick my battery!
Boogie, boogie,
(The humans are...)
Boogie, Robo boogie.
(The humans are...)
Boogie, boogie,
(Robo boogie)
Boogie, Robo boogie.
Boogie, boogie,
(The humans are...)
Boogie, Robo Boogie
Boogie, boogie,
(The humans are...)
Boogie, Robo Boogie
The humans are dead.
Once again, without emotion, the humans are dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dooo
Sello Tape
Lives are like retractable pencils
If you push them too hard they're gonna breakAnd people are like paper dolls
Paper dolls and people, they're a similar shape
Hmm hmm hm
Love is like a roll of tape
It's real good for making two things one
But just like that roll of tape
Love sometimes breaks off before you were done
Another way that love is similar to tape
That I've noticed
Is sometimes it's hard to see the end
You search on the roll
(search on the roll)
Search on the roll
(searching round the roll)
Search on the roll
(search)
With your fingernail
Again and again
And again and again
And again.
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with the tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff.
People people Chorus: Brown paper, white paper
Paper paper Stick it together with tape
Paper paper The tape of love
People people
People people
Pencil pencil
Pencil pencil
Paper paper
Put the pencil to the paper
Give the paper to the people
Let the people read about the sello tape
Oh baby baby
Yeah
You know, Jemaine, I've been thinking about love. And I guess it's the very stron-
gest adhesive.
Oh sorry, Bret. Were you talking to me? I was humming. What did you say?
Oh, just...nothing.
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Yeah
Ooh brown
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
Say it
Sticky
Stick stick
Stick it together
Ye-yeah
Song for Sally
Sally, I love you
Sally, I love youSally, I need you
Sally, I need you, too
I need to be with you
But I don't just love and need you
I love and need and want you, too
I don't just love and need you
I love and need and want you, too, too
Yeah, well I love and need and want you, too, too, too
That's too many- That's just ridiculous
Oh, you could be with me
Or you could be with me
If you wanted to be
If you wanted to be with me
Or me
The only thing stopping you from being with me
Is that you don't want to be with me
It's the same with me
Except with me
But if you did I'd hold you tight
Every single night
And we'd fall asleep together
And we'd wake up in the sunlight
Well, maybe I'm a dreamer
But maybe one day you'll see
That dreams are-
Yeah, yeah
She gets it
Stop cockblocking me
'Cause who knows what makes love stop or start
I can't help but think that now you're engaged we're drifting apart
And who am I to say that love will last?
It won't or it will
But maybe Mark will be involved in an accident
And you'll get a life insurance payment of half a mil
It's not about the money, but it could set us up financially
If you came back to me
Or me.
Sally, I wrote this song to tell you know much I love you
Quite a lot, actually
Even sometimes more than my current girlfriend
I love you so much
I love you, sometimes, even more than my current girlfriend
Sally, I co-wrote this song to tell you how much I love you
It's quite a lot, actually
Well, he's said basically just the same thing
I think he's been looking over at my bit of paper
Except with the girlfriend bit
Ooh, I love you
I love you you you you
Ooh, and I need you
I need you you you you you you you you
I need to be with you
Ditto that
'Cause you and me, we were meant to be
Bret's got a girlfriend
But Sally and me, we were meant to be
Bret, you've got a girlfriend
Yeah well, I'd break it off with her if I knew Sally wanted to be with me
Just so you know Sally, unlike Bret I'm available immediately
Sally, I love you
The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room
Looking at the room, I can tell that you.
Are the most beautiful girl in the...room.(In the whole wide room).
And when you're on the street, depending on the street.
I bet you are definitely in the top three.
Good lookin' girls on the street.
(Depending on the streets).
And when I saw you at my mate's place.
I thought...what, is she, doing...at my mate's place.
How did he get a hottie like that to a party like this?
Good one, Dave.
(Ooh, you're a legend, Dave).
I asked Dave if he's going to move on you.
He's not sure.
I said "Dave, do you mind if I do?"
He says he doesn't mind.
But I can tell he kind of minds.
But I'm going to do it anyway.
I see you standing all alone by the stereo.
I dim the lights down to very low, here we go
You're so beautiful.
You could be a waitress.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a air hostess in the 60s.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a part-time model.
But then I seal the deal, I do my moves.
I do my dance moves.
Lets travel through, just me and you.
As other dudes around you on the dance floor.
I draw you near, lets get out of here.
Lets get in a cab. I'll buy you a kabob.
I can't believe. I'm sharing a kabob.
With the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a kabob.
Oh, why don't we leave?
Lets go to my house.
We can feel each other up on the couch.
Oh no, I don't mind taking it slow.
Cause you're so beautiful...
Like a tree. Or a high class prostitute.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a part time model.
But you'd probably still have to keep your normal job.
A part time model.
Spend part of your time modeling.
And part of your time next to me.
My place is usually a bit tidier than this.
Think About it, Think, Think About
Children on the streets using guns and knives
Taking drugs and each other's livesKilling each other using knives and forks
And calling each other names like dork
There's people on the street getting diseases from monkeys
Yeah that's what I said, their getting diseases from monkeys
Whys this happening, please, whose been touching these monkeys
Leave these poor sick monkeys alone
There sick, they've got problems enough as it is
A man is lying on the street, some punk has chopped off his head
And I'm the only one who stops to see if he's dead, aaoohhh
Turns out he's dead
That's why I'm singing, Aaaaoooh what is wrong with the world today?
What's wrong with the world today, *mumbles* never said nothings wrong with it
Uooo, what is wrong with the world today?
Think about it, think about it, think, think about it
Good cops get framed and put into a can
And all the money that we're making is going to the maaan
What man, whose the man, when's a man a man, why's it so hard to be a man
Am I a man? Yes, technically, yes...
Oohh, come on, sont zootka they're turning kids into slaves
They're turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers
But what's the real cost, ‘cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper
Why are we still paying so much for sneakers when you got little kid slaves making them
What are your overheads?
Well, at the end of your life, you are lucky if you die
Sometimes I wonder why I would even try
Why try
I saw a man lying on the street half dead
He had knives and forks sticking out of his leg
He said, Ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhhwww
Can somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please
Ooh, could somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees
Yeah yeeeahhh
This is where we break it down
This is where we break it down
We'll break it down
What are they doing, their breaking it down
What do they do, and now their keeping it funky
Just having a funky jam and then we're going to drop the beat
And then we'll bring it back *wails* Up
Wah wah wah waaah!
*Both go to town with the wailing*
Then we'll take it low
Fading out, fading out
We're talking about the issues, but we're keeping it funky
We're fading out, we're just fading out
Why they getting quiet, they're just fading out
*monkey noises*
Stop touching that monkey